Tuesday, February 8, 2011


After some rather cruel comments on my last blog entry, I feel the need to share some unsolicited kindness I also received.

I forwarded an article to a former coworker and the subject of kids somehow came up.  She and I are not close, but we get along.  What she said about my blog entry made me feel so much better:


Being an only child is AWESOME. Don't let anyone convince you to have more, unless YOU want to. Something that I think would appeal to you, is that an only child is a lot like a little adult, since that is really who they socialize with. I can't speak for everyone, but from ages 4-16, I was very quiet and polite, and everyone always commented on how mature I was. I credit my parents, of course, but I'm sure a lot of it was from having to hang around adults all my life!

No, I wasn't lonely. I had friends and a great imagination.

No, I wasn't spoiled. But I was privileged - when you only have one kid, you spend money on them!

And NO, I don't wish I had siblings. I see how those work! No thanks! 

When you do have kids, you'll love it...when it's right for you. :)

To be honest -- 110% honest -- I'd never, ever want a kid with special needs. I can't hack it. And yes, I want a baseball player. Or a ballerina. Or a rocket scientist. I don't want a grocery bagger. 

Go ahead and say "Special needs kids can do anything! My kid with Downs Syndrome can be anything he wants!" That theory has a SMALL chance of being a reality. A greater chance of reality, is your special-needs kid being your dependent FOR THE REST OF YOUR LIFE.


She's obviously a blunt, opinionated lady, and I mean that in the nicest way.  I love that about her.  She's not afraid to say what we're all thinking.

After that email, I posted on Facebook that an old coworker made my day and made me feel better about myself as a future parent.  In response, an old college roommate, also someone I'm not particularly close to, sent the following message:


Your most recent status made me happy for you. I'm so happy you have a great co-worker who has made you feel good.

A few days ago I read your blog about wanting to adopt. . . . And I think all your concerns are valid, and you didn't say anything wrong at all. You said (about how you feel) is what other people think. But that women telling you at least two times that maybe you shouldn't be a parent really irked me.

You're a good person. And I don't know Simon at all, but from your blogs and facebook status updates he seems like an awesome guy! Together I'm positive you two would make amazing parents. Don't let that lady second guess yourself (maybe she didn't affect you at all, that's what I'm hoping for)

Obviously you want a healthy child, as you stated. I personally feel that's a normal thing to hope for. No one prays for a special needs child. But you're a smart girl, you know there are no guarantee's in life. Hell you've been through a lot of heartbreak at such a young age, so I'm certain you can handle anything that is thrown at you. 

But I hope you and Simon do whatever makes you happy. Either having your own child, or adopting a child. Either way it will be a very lucky kid to have you as a Mom.


This also gave me a big smile.

So Anonymous?  Screw you.  Comments from people who actually know me mean a lot more than your hateful drivel.

1 comment:

  1. Sarah, I don't know you that well but I can see that you are a good person not a terrible one such as this jerk says. It is not a crime not to want a special needs baby. I personally would not want one either because I have neither the time nor the resources to dedicate to such a child. Therefore if it looks like we will have to adopt then I don't want a special needs child either.

    As for an only child, I am totally for it! I was an only child for 10 years then my brother came along and really threw a monkey wrench to my already dysfunctional family. It didn't do me a damn bit of good either. If you only knew what my teenage years were like...